Wednesday, January 5, 2011

3 weeks...

3 weeks together. Wow. Here are some thoughts about the last 21 days…

Some moments of the day it’s hard to believe we’ve been together 3 whole weeks already.

Some moments of the day it seems like we’ve been together forever.

Some moments of the day it seems like that single day has lasted (and probably will last) forever.

I know God has miraculously brought all of us together on this journey, and I am so thankful for that. God brought us kids #1, #2, #3, and #4 each in their own way, and it has been the journey to # 5 and #6 which has reminded me of God’s intricate plan to join people together for His glory and for their own benefit and blessing. It was HIS plan. It IS His plan.

God certainly chose TJ and Brielle for us, prepared us for them and prepared them for us. Mr. TJ’s little tricks and schemes have all been seen before by these two well-seasoned parents, and Little Miss Brielle’s pouting spells just don’t work with us. TJ actually seems glad to when he gets “caught” trying to pull things over on us. I think it makes him feel safe to know that we’re not just some ignorant people he can fool all the time. We’ve been through it all before, and we’re not fooled or swayed by drama, crying, or blaming others. And Brielle will try to get her way by pouting and being pitiful, but when we ignore it she just does what needs to be done and is over it in a few minutes. God’s been preparing us for these battles for years, literally years! We’re ready for ya, baby!

One of the things I was most concerned about beforehand was Mattea needing her personal space and “alone time” and how sharing a room with a 3-year-old sister would affect that. Thankfully, that hasn’t been an issue so far. Mattea loves Brielle so much, carries her around, asks if she can help her get her bath, etc. I am so proud of her for stepping up and being such a big helper. Mattea has been able to be alone in her room some, so that has been good, and so far things have gone incredibly smoothly. Praying that continues.

Mattea doing her school work with Brielle in her lap

I was also concerned about Wyatt adjusting to not being the center of attention anymore. Wyatt LOVES being “on”. That’s where he is most comfortable. He is a true baby of the family personality who expects everyone to give him all their attention all the time. I knew he would have some issues with having to share his “attention” with his little brother, but I completely misjudged how much it would affect my sweet baby. He has had such a hard time with it. It is so sad. I have cried several times just watching him struggle with trying to figure out where he belongs now and what his place in the family is. Yesterday was the first day that he actually played with TJ – it took 3 weeks for two boys who have been together 24/7 to play together. They just haven’t connected very well. I have confidence they will, though. God can handle it, and I’m praying for Him to join their hearts together in a miraculous and beautiful way.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melinda, thank you for the wonderful updates and pictures you've posted!(I've been sitting on pins and needles for days, but I realize these things take time, especially when one has six children!)

I believe that your four bio children are very well-adjusted and that they will settle into new roles in the family, it just might take more time for some, as you are seeing. I am grateful that you are being "real" in these posts and letting us know that it's not a fairy tale, but that it's worth it a million times over! And who needs perfect fairy tales, anyway? The reality God gives us is often SO much better, don't you think?

Praising God for the work He does in lives, hearts, and families. Thank you for letting us witness what he's been doing in yours. I hope and pray that you continue sharing insights with us, because I receive some wonderful Titus 2 style mentoring from reading your posts. :)

Love and prayers for all EIGHT of you!
-Lindsay

From a full heart... said...

Oh my, I SO relate. The concerns about sharing rooms, the baby of the family feeling left out...it is definitely hard to navigate those waters and I often feel pulled several different directions at once. I have seen my "baby" begin to step out, though, and accept his new sister. He seems to resent her less and less and enjoy her more each day. Thank GOD. Hang in there, mama!